Kamakazi
11-10-2009, 03:09 PM
Herogasm #6
This is it folks, the day you NEVER thought would arrive: A (more or less) COMPLETELY POSITIVE (except for the negative parts) review of an issue of Herogasm! So now that hell has officially frozen over, here are the words you never thought I'd type:
I liked this issue of Herogasm. Liked it quite a bit, actually.
Our story begins (ends, actually, since this is the last issue of the series) with the Boys being surrounded by Vought's Red River mercs. In a truly amazing turn of events, Ennis actually allows someone to be heroic, resulting in the two C.I.A. agents from last issue riding to the rescue. I'm going to call them Mulder and Scully, because I've forgotten their real names.
Meanwhile, Vic the Veep wanders out of his plane, talking about how he wants a blowjob. And while I really hate to interrupt the ONE positive review that I'm ever going to give an issue of Herogasm, I have to say that this scene is poorly conceived. I know that we, as Americans, have a long-honored tradition of making jokes about how dumb our Vice Presidents are, but Vic isn't just stupid, he's mentally handicapped. I'd go into this further, but honestly, Vic bores me. He's not a character, he's the punchline, and we will speak of him no more.
Anyway, Mulder and Scully capture the Bad Guys, but a firefight ensues. And if I'm doing a lot less "recapping" than usual, it's because this is the one issue of Herogasm that I'd actually encourage people to buy and read. Really. Go buy it.
While all the drama is going down with the Boys, we cut to Generic Vought Guy (and really, would it be asking too much for this guy to have a name or an eyepatch or a pet iguana or something so that we recognize him when he pops up?) who appears to be ordering the murder of Shauna the Prostitute from last issue. I'm willing to overlook the gratuitous Mustache-Twirling in light of my general goodwill towards the issue as a whole, but seriously: he's gonna have her murdered for flirting with him in a bar? I'm pretty sure even Dick Cheney would find that Cartoonishly Evil.
Elsewhere, the Seven are flying back home. Seems to me that I'd have just moved my Hovering Skybase over the island, but maybe Black Noir and A-Train actually LIKE having their arms pulled out of their sockets for extended periods of time. Homelander is pissed because his cunning plan of "Let's continue to act like douchebags, even thought that's exactly what we're already doing" was interrupted by Generic Vought Guy.
Back with the Boys, Mulder and Scully have been shot. Scully dies. The Red River boys take off in a plane. Mulder (okay, I think his name's 'Lucero' or something like that) manages to stagger to where Vic and his assistant are wandering around. Lucero pops a cap in Vic's assistant. This seems kind of silly to me, but in context of Lucero being an incredibly devoted Super Agent, I guess I'm willing to buy it. At least Lucero has a moral code he sticks too, is one of the reasons I like this issue.
Meanwhile, Frenchie does a Fastball Special with the Female, and... oh god, I just can't describe this next scene. If there were some sort of Eisner Award for Stupid, this next scene would win it, hands down.
EDIT:
Hi, I'm back. I've decided to Nut Up, as they say, and describe the aforementioned scene. The Female lands on the airplane, rips off one of the Props, causing it to crash, and then floats to earth using the still-spinning Prop like one of the Penguin's magic umbrellas.
Let me describe what's wrong with that particular scene. First off, it shows how little Ennis actually cares about any of the characters in The Boys. Having never bothered to actually describe the Female's superpowers (aside from "explosively eviscerating" people), we're now to believe that she's basically Captain Marvel. Not the cool one with the NegaBands, the retarded one that shouts "SHAZAM!" At this point, the Female's superpower is "doing whatever ridiculous thing the plot currently requires her to be able to do." And at the risk of sounding too much like a total killjoy, I'm still wondering how the fuck a propeller keeps spinning at full speed once you've violently severed it from it's fuel supply. I'm also pondering the physics that suddenly allow an airplane prop to function as helicopter blades, despite the fact that they are in no way interchangeable. But I guess I'm being too picky here. As Joe Quesada has repeatedly told us, once we've bought into guys who shoot lasers from their eyes, we've given up all right to expect consistency, logic, or realism out of our reading material.
Still, Vic the Veep and the Female aside, this was a great ending to a mediocre series.
This is it folks, the day you NEVER thought would arrive: A (more or less) COMPLETELY POSITIVE (except for the negative parts) review of an issue of Herogasm! So now that hell has officially frozen over, here are the words you never thought I'd type:
I liked this issue of Herogasm. Liked it quite a bit, actually.
Our story begins (ends, actually, since this is the last issue of the series) with the Boys being surrounded by Vought's Red River mercs. In a truly amazing turn of events, Ennis actually allows someone to be heroic, resulting in the two C.I.A. agents from last issue riding to the rescue. I'm going to call them Mulder and Scully, because I've forgotten their real names.
Meanwhile, Vic the Veep wanders out of his plane, talking about how he wants a blowjob. And while I really hate to interrupt the ONE positive review that I'm ever going to give an issue of Herogasm, I have to say that this scene is poorly conceived. I know that we, as Americans, have a long-honored tradition of making jokes about how dumb our Vice Presidents are, but Vic isn't just stupid, he's mentally handicapped. I'd go into this further, but honestly, Vic bores me. He's not a character, he's the punchline, and we will speak of him no more.
Anyway, Mulder and Scully capture the Bad Guys, but a firefight ensues. And if I'm doing a lot less "recapping" than usual, it's because this is the one issue of Herogasm that I'd actually encourage people to buy and read. Really. Go buy it.
While all the drama is going down with the Boys, we cut to Generic Vought Guy (and really, would it be asking too much for this guy to have a name or an eyepatch or a pet iguana or something so that we recognize him when he pops up?) who appears to be ordering the murder of Shauna the Prostitute from last issue. I'm willing to overlook the gratuitous Mustache-Twirling in light of my general goodwill towards the issue as a whole, but seriously: he's gonna have her murdered for flirting with him in a bar? I'm pretty sure even Dick Cheney would find that Cartoonishly Evil.
Elsewhere, the Seven are flying back home. Seems to me that I'd have just moved my Hovering Skybase over the island, but maybe Black Noir and A-Train actually LIKE having their arms pulled out of their sockets for extended periods of time. Homelander is pissed because his cunning plan of "Let's continue to act like douchebags, even thought that's exactly what we're already doing" was interrupted by Generic Vought Guy.
Back with the Boys, Mulder and Scully have been shot. Scully dies. The Red River boys take off in a plane. Mulder (okay, I think his name's 'Lucero' or something like that) manages to stagger to where Vic and his assistant are wandering around. Lucero pops a cap in Vic's assistant. This seems kind of silly to me, but in context of Lucero being an incredibly devoted Super Agent, I guess I'm willing to buy it. At least Lucero has a moral code he sticks too, is one of the reasons I like this issue.
Meanwhile, Frenchie does a Fastball Special with the Female, and... oh god, I just can't describe this next scene. If there were some sort of Eisner Award for Stupid, this next scene would win it, hands down.
EDIT:
Hi, I'm back. I've decided to Nut Up, as they say, and describe the aforementioned scene. The Female lands on the airplane, rips off one of the Props, causing it to crash, and then floats to earth using the still-spinning Prop like one of the Penguin's magic umbrellas.
Let me describe what's wrong with that particular scene. First off, it shows how little Ennis actually cares about any of the characters in The Boys. Having never bothered to actually describe the Female's superpowers (aside from "explosively eviscerating" people), we're now to believe that she's basically Captain Marvel. Not the cool one with the NegaBands, the retarded one that shouts "SHAZAM!" At this point, the Female's superpower is "doing whatever ridiculous thing the plot currently requires her to be able to do." And at the risk of sounding too much like a total killjoy, I'm still wondering how the fuck a propeller keeps spinning at full speed once you've violently severed it from it's fuel supply. I'm also pondering the physics that suddenly allow an airplane prop to function as helicopter blades, despite the fact that they are in no way interchangeable. But I guess I'm being too picky here. As Joe Quesada has repeatedly told us, once we've bought into guys who shoot lasers from their eyes, we've given up all right to expect consistency, logic, or realism out of our reading material.
Still, Vic the Veep and the Female aside, this was a great ending to a mediocre series.